Young Adults With ADHD

The transition to adulthood can be difficult for all teens and when ADHD is in the mix this transition can be longer and more difficult. The prefrontal lobes of the brain (the part of the brain that controls thoughts and behaviors associated with maturity) like organization, planning, thinking long term, is delayed in its development by up to 3 years. Some believe that the ADHD brain is not fully mature until around age 30. And this means that the drive for independence is not strongly associated with responsible decision making for up to a decade.

As one father put it, “I don’t know if I’m helping too much, or helping too little.”

Too much help and we are enabling a teen or young adult with ADHD to coast along, not developing the strengths required for full independence. Too little help can throw a teen into unfortunate actions that can impact him or her for years to come.

In my work with parents and their young adult son or daughter, my job is to help create a constructive dialogue and avoid all-or-nothing thinking. No one is suddenly “adult.” Becoming adult is a long process with many skills to learn along the way, how to write a resume, conduct a job search, or to set yourself up for a promotion. How to remember to put gas in the car and pay for car insurance. How to avoid credit card debt – at 19% interest. How to manage food costs when the average 19 or 20-year -old has no cooking skills and meal preparation in the past has meant calling Door Dash – which they soon learn is too costly to fit their budget.

If you are concerned about your young adult with ADHD, I would like to work with you to help you find a balance, and to constructively problem-solve as a family rather than living in conflict, resentment and worry. My focus is on finding the right balance between too much help and too little help from parents. I work with parents and young adults with ADHD to develop a realistic timeline for taking on new responsibilities. And I’ll help parents and young adults find alternate paths to skill building when college doesn’t seem like a good fit.